by Dr Shari Read
(includes instructions for Simple Breath Meditation, see below)
The connection between meditation and motherhood isn’t always obvious (particularly as I am writing this in the middle of the school holidays with awful unseasonal weather…sigh). The idea of finding 40 minutes or even 5 minutes during your day, or worse, getting out of bed half an hour early to meditate, probably isn’t high on the list of priorities.
However, I have learnt more about meditation and visualization as a mother than ever before in my life and I have found that my most valuable lessons in this area have come straight from my children, especially during my pregnancies and in labour.
During pregnancy women are intimately connected to their babies, body and mind. The potential to be ‘in tune’ with the strengthening life within is often a powerful catalyst in a woman’s life, motivating her to explore her inner or spiritual world as she begins the journey into motherhood. The generation of women currently in the ‘childbearing’ stage of their lives have, for the most part, been raised in much the same way as their brothers, focused on education, training and career. A desire for achievement and independence is encouraged and supported in young women as strongly as it is in young men. This has the effect of leaving many women emotionally distant from a possible identity as a mother making the journey into motherhood more complex and sometimes, more difficult.
Meditation can bring with it an incredible awareness which works at a very subtle level, providing you with the ability to merge past, present and future selves in a coherent manner. As your conscious mind is busy focusing on your breathing, counting or a visualization, your subconscious mind is free to work through more important issues, clearing away the trivia of the day and sorting through your memories and beliefs to find more useful and beneficial ways of thinking.
During pregnancy, meditation can aid the journey from career woman to mother (and back again!) and help a woman focus her energy where it is needed rather than indulging anxieties and unnecessary concerns. Guiding a woman through her pregnancy using meditation techniques can also help her achieve a greater connection with her baby which usually has the wonderful effect of bringing a sense of well-being to the woman, ‘knowing’ that her baby is safe and well.
Meditation provides a pregnant woman with the means to embrace change, connect with her unborn baby and her partner and focus on feeling strong and positive about birth. Guided meditation can introduce a new mum to prenatal bonding techniques, helping her to focus on her innate connection with her baby while subtly providing a means to sort through old, inappropriate or detrimental beliefs or memories, particularly those that belong to some-one else (the woman’s own mother for example). Once a woman has learnt a meditation technique that suits her she then has the skills to sit quietly any time that is available to her to focus on beneficial thoughts and to work through those no longer needed or wanted. The result of this type of work is a woman who is ready to embrace labour and the birthing process with a relaxed and open body and a mind that knows how to ‘let go’.
With the help of meditation, a woman can also gain the ability to manage pain during pregnancy and in labour. With guidance or experience a woman can focus her mind on the positive aspects of labour or can learn to ‘travel’ inward to a safe place, protected from fear and pain. This is possible when a woman is taught how to use meditation to focus on her breath and to ‘let go’ of sensation in her body. These simple techniques achieves three things: they help the body to efficiently absorb and use oxygen for the working muscle of the uterus, minimizing the creation of pain; they help the body create endorphins, our natural pain relief (much stronger than other opiates); and they help the body relax and avoid tension, further aiding the working muscle. The essence of achieving a calm and peaceful birth is letting go of the fear and the tension that produce pain in childbirth.
Another wonderful benefit of learning or practicing meditation during pregnancy is that it makes it just a little more likely that it will be carried into motherhood and practiced there as well! And as any mother knows, even a few sane minutes on the toilet can make a huge difference to the rest of the afternoon! You don’t need a zafu or a singing bowl to practice the beneficial techniques of meditation; brushing your teeth, hanging out the washing or a few quiet moments before bed can all be turned into meditation time when the right techniques and advice have been passed on.
Simple Breath Meditation
A very simple but effective meditation.
Choose a posture you feel comfortable with or work with one that you need to be in for a few minutes (not driving!). As much as possible, relax the body by concentrating on each part in turn, allowing the tension in each area to melt away. You might still need to use different parts of the body to carry on an activity however, it is still possible to be free of unnecessary tension. Spend a few minutes on this.
When you're ready concentrate on your breath, and simply watch it come and go.
Allow your breathing to become regular and a little deeper, but don't force anything.
Breathing in through the nose and out through the nose is best, but whatever is most comfortable for you is fine.
If your mind wanders off in any direction, gently bring it back to an awareness of each breath you take. Spend a few minutes just 'watching' the air going into and then out. Try to maintain this simple awareness.
Breath comes in, and breath goes out. In…out…
Now let your attention focus on the sensations you can feel at the end of your nose or your lips as the air passes through on its way in and out. Relax. Simply watch.
When you are ready, come out of the meditation by gradually becoming aware of your surroundings and your body. Stretch out, take a deep breath and acknowledge that you have just done something very good for yourself!
Shari is a mum, mind/body therapist and author of The BirthSkills Book and CD. She has been specialising in childbirth education for over six years with a focus on preparing for childbirth emotionally as well as pragmatically, using safe and natural techniques that connect mind and body. Shari has a PhD in psychology and postgraduate qualifications in natural medicine and draws on both of these areas in guiding women and their partners through the journey of pregnancy and into parenting. As well as working directly with couples and groups, Shari provides training to other childbirth educators in the BirthSkills program and the use of mind/body therapies for pregnancy and birth. www.birthskills.com.au
For more like this, see:
· Napthali, Sarah. (2003). Buddhism for Mothers. Allen & Unwin: Crows Nest, NSW.
· Fontana, David. (1999). Learn to Meditate. Duncan Baird Publishers: London.
· Google search ‘pregnancy meditation’